Of Rice and the Wanton Slaughter of Birds

You've heard this, of course: don't throw rice at weddings, because it kills birds. This is, incidentally, a lie: an "urban legend" (Sorry, Dr. Henken!) perpetuated by Ann Landers and the Bird Seed Industrial Complex. (Ann Landers, at any rate.) Skeptical? Then consult the Snopes.com article on the subject: "Is rice bad for birds?"

This, then, is a fair warning: if we decide to have our guests pelt us with rice as we leave, let none condemn us as persecutors of our feathered friends.

"Our nuptial hour draws on apace..."

Obviously David and I have not updated this blog in a while, but things have been happening and new information demands a new post! We are now about 6 months and 10 days out from the wedding, and a lot of things have been decided!

We now have an official wedding party:

* Maid of Honor: my fab sister Bethany

* Bridesmaids: My best friend Leslie, my soon-to-be sister-in-law Lia, and my English comradess-in-arms Laura Nix.

* Best Man: David's brother Brian

* Groomsmen: David's best friend Jonathan Floyd, Todd "Admiral Sandecker" Hower, and Eugene Cuevas, offical ninja of the wedding party.

* Flower Girls: Heiress to the WinShape lands Addie Grace Trejo, and Olivia Cuevas, Eugene and Jennifer's precious little girl.

* Ringbearer: Darrell Trejo, keeper of the Rings of Power (yes, he has hobbit hair!)

We have also found a minister to perform the ceremony (Thad Blount of David's family's church) and a Wedding Director. Flowery miracles will be performed by Mr. Fred, florist to the rich and famous (he did the flowers for the Sweet Home Alabama wedding scene!). We have a great caterer, Mrs. Pat Hyde, and an awesome cake baker, Barbara Cameron, who is going to bake my strawberry-creme-filled bridal confection and construct David's Tower O' Cupcakes. [Tower of London? The White Tower of Minas Tirith? -- DNG] We have secured hotel rooms and I have even chosen bridesmaid dresses (coral). Basically, thanks to my mom, we are on the ball!!

In a future post, I will place a link to our wedding website at theknot.com, which will provide valuable information for our guests (times, directions, registries, etc.). Until then, readers, be sure to watch the countdown clock on David's blog [And on this one! -- DNG] to count down the days with us until that momentous day!

[I find this post's title specially apt, though I'll not spoil the puzzle by naming it! -- DNG]

Where the Party's At

Or, more precisely, where our (Katie and I) wedding reception will be at. To help my dear readers appreciate the full effect, I'm having you scroll down to reveal (magically!) the first picture. Otherwise, you see the picture before your know what it is, and that blunts the impact!

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Just a bit further...

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Ta-DAAAAH! Drink it in for a few moments before closing your mouth and moving on...

This austere heap of stone is Ford Dining Hall, on the campus of Berry College in Rome, GA. It's no longer used as the college dining hall, but is still used for special occasions. Wedding receptions, for instance.

Here's a shot looking up from the door at the magnificent long window in the center of the Hall's face. Quite Gothic!

This is the interior of the Hall. Note the massive oak beams and the long windows: also quite Gothic. Some say Ford Dining Hall resembles a dining hall in this movie; it actually is a dining hall in this movie.

Since I've not been gifted with flight (really!), you may be puzzled by the downward angle of the previous photo. I was not hovering like a wisp of down, however: I was standing on this balcony which overlooks the Hall. The long window you see in the middle is the same long window you saw from the outside.

And, again, that selfsame window, only closer.

This is a different window, however: one of the many windows that stretch from floor to ceiling in two walls flanking the Hall.

This is the ceiling, in all its intricate Gothic glory. Hooray for visible rafters! I felt like I was in the refectory of a Cluniac abbey.

This is the only fly in the otherwise perfect ointment: an immense photographic portrait of Henry Ford, leering down with devil eyes from his perch squarely amidships. Alas, it cannot be removed, for 'twas the eponymous founder's filthy lucre that built Ford Dining Hall.

The Proposal: Katie's Version

Okay everybody, you've asked for it, so here it is: the story of my engagement. David and I had been talking for a little while about how we want to get married, and we had both informed our parents of this fact, so the time was drawing near. My two weeks in Nicaragua on a mission trip provided the perfect opportunity for some sneakiness on the part of my fiancee. I knew that he was meaning to go see my parents while I was gone and "ask them if he could ask me," and I also had some idea of what type of ring he might get, because he had asked me to go ahead with Leslie and scout out what type I might like so she could show him later. So when I returned from out the country I knew these things had happened, but I had no idea when he would actually propose or where, or which ring he had chosen.

So on Father's Day, June 17, we had been in Birmingham all weekend with his family (who all knew what was about to happen, by the way), and were heading over to Berry to meet my parents. They were dropping off Tucker at camp there, and so we were ostensibly going over so I could have dinner with my dad on Father's Day. However, I thought it was a little odd that they knew we were getting in to Berry at 6:00, but didn't want to have dinner with us until 7:30. Then, when we arrived in Rome and stopped at Walgreen's to get my Dad a Father's Day card, we encountered them there!!

I figured then that they would just say, "Well, why don't we just do dinner now?" but they didn't, they just said they would see us later, which got me even more suspicious. David had said he wanted to take me to the Oak Hill Gardens, but when I saw we were going to get there after the gates were closed for the day, I told him we wouldn't make it. He said that was okay, we would just go to Frost Chapel instead. When we got to Frost he wanted to go inside, but all of the doors were locked! Foiled again! He said then he was disappointed because he had written me a sonnet that was meant to be recited in the Oak Hill Gardens, but that he guessed he would just have to do it outside Frost Chapel. I then said maybe he could wait and do it at Oak Hill next weekend when we come for Eliza's wedding, but he said, "No, I think I want to do it now!" So we sit down on a low wall next to Frost, and I was trying to tell myself I wasn't going to get engaged right then, because I didn't want to get my hopes up! He told me to imagine that I was in the Oak Hill Gardens. I obligingly closed my eyes (which ended up helping him out, because he could rummage in his pocket for the ring without me seeing) and tried to imagine it. He began to recite the absolutely beautiful sonnet he had written for me, and as he continued I heard him moving around, so when he was at the last few lines I opened my eyes. He was no longer sitting next to me, but was down on one knee in front of me!!

Incredibly, your favorite cold-hearted girl began to cry! The last two lines of the sonnet asked the best question of all, and David held out the ring to me. Well, I snatched him up to kiss him, and he said, "So I guess that's a yes?" And then I said, "Absolutely yes!!" and kissed him some more and cried some more. I was exclaiming over how perfect the proposal was when he gave me an even bigger surprise! A while back, before my trip, when we first started talking about getting married, I had called Berry and asked if Frost Chapel was available next May. The lady told me we could put ourselves on the waiting list for some dates, but that it was basically a lost cause, because we would be like fifth down on every date. But I had her put us down for May 17, 24, and 30 just in case. She had said she would only contact me if she had positive news, so when I didn't hear from her, I assumed it was a done deal, and started considering getting married in my parents' church in McDonough on May 24 or 30. Anyway, fast forward back to proposal night. So after proposing to me, David then says, "Oh, but babe, I'm really sorry, but we aren't going to be able to get married on May 24 or 30 like you wanted." "But why?" I asked worriedly. "Because May 17th is the only day Frost is available!" he said. At which point I screamed, and flailed my arms and legs around some, and generally got ridiculous for a few minutes. Apparently, while I was out of the country, I had gotten a letter saying we had gotten Frost for that day, and David got it, because he was picking up my mail. He, along with my family, decided to keep it a secret from me until proposal time. It was such a huge surprise, and they were all so sneaky!!

So that's my story guys, and if anybody wants even more details (what we were wearing, or crazy stuff like that), give me a call! We will post more pictures of the ring online very soon! (And we did.--Ed.)

To sum up, I have the most wonderful fiancee in the entire world, and I cannot wait to be his wife!

Going to the Chapel!

Frost Chapel, that is, at Berry College in Rome, GA. Peruse the pics below and see for yourself why we think it's the perfect spot!

The Proposal: Engagement Photos 1

Here are some photos actually taken immediately after the proposal itself. (The photos posted earlier of Frost Chapel were taken the same evening.)

Katie, looking down the hill from the Frost Chapel tower.

David (appropriately enough) in the "cloister garden".

Both of us, in front of the chapel.

A lovely ending to a lovely day.

The Proposal: David's Version, Part 2

(Originally posted at David's blog, The Oak Hermitage.)

As I mentioned in my first engagement post, "the Ask" was meant to take place in the Oak Hill gardens by Martha Berry's home. Now, let's imagine what that would have been like...

The gardens are very formal: straight walkways, ornamental pools, hedges, statuary, sundials, gazebos, the whole bit. Effective on its own, the formality stands out in sharper contrast against the general "wildness" of the Berry campus, which is largely forested and overrun with deer and turkeys. In fact, this contrast (and a similar contrast at the Georgia Botanical Gardens) started a thought germinating, which eventually grew into the proposal sonnet.

This is, I think, one of the prettiest spots in the garden: a little fish pond surrounded by a round stone path, with a wisteria arbor on one side. Again, the formal beauty, with the particular elements, reminded me of larger themes. The arbor, in particular, reminded me of Adam and Eve's "blissful bower" as described in Book Three of Paradise Lost. It was the perfect spot.

The view looking up through the arbor. I reiterate: perfect.

However, it was not to be: Oak Hill closes at 5 pm, and we didn't arrive in Rome until after 6 pm. Instead, we went to Frost Chapel, which my dear readers have already seen. However, this past weekend Katie and I went to a wedding up at Berry, and had a bit of time before hand, in which we decided to simulate what the proposal ought to have looked like, if it had come off properly.

A SIMULATION, NOT AN ACTUAL PROPOSAL PHOTO.

Finally, for those interested, here's the sonnet:

AN EDENIC ICON:
A Marriage Proposal Couched
in an Overwrought Metaphysical Conceit

This garden is a cosmos framed by Love:
Its path runs like to Heaven’s starry course;
Here fire, earth, air, and water meet; above
Quintessent spirit breathes, all being’s source.
And here I walk, like Man fresh born of clay,
In nature’s ordered haven, Man’s true throne—
An image of creation’s perfect day—
As though this garden kingdom were my own.
But shall I rule a solitary lord?
If I’m alone, I’ll yet be discontent,
Though by all creatures named of me adored.
A queenless king cannot Man represent!
Yet from this shadow comes reality:
For with your will, this image whole may be.

Yes, I did totally rip off Milton in a number of spots. Steal from the best, dear readers, only from the best!

The Proposal: David's Version, Part 1

(Originally posted at David's blog, The Oak Hermitage.)

Most of you in the loop already know a good bit, but some of my dear readers may yet remain in the dark regarding current events of earth-shaking import: namely, that I am engaged. The lady in question has been featured at the Hermitage before (here and here and here), but here's a short refresher course:

Name: Katie Norman
Age: 23
Home: McDonough, GA
Education: Berry College 2006 (BA, English Literature and Spanish), UGA 2008 (MA, English Literature, emphasis on British Renaissance)

Naturally there's more than this to know about so phenomenal a person, but this'll do to start out with.

Anyway, we began dating in the early spring (February) and quickly discovered how much we had in common and how well suited we were to one another in taste and temperament. Things progressed, and we started discussing what ought to happen next. I've long fancied matrimony, and she found the notion agreeable. Still, there were many things to sort out before we could march to the village square and post the banns. So we spent the months that followed dealing with each issue that presented itself, making sure all the lights were green and all the doors open before proceeding.

Nonetheless, though we were agreed in our future plans, nothing was yet official: a question remained to be asked, and there was the ring to consider as well. The first business was the ring. Fortunately, my future mother-in-law has a friend (Nancy Wilhite) at an Atlanta antique store (Wilson and Son's). Katie and her friend Leslie browsed through the selection of rings at Wilson and Son's, and found a few that suited her tastes. Later, while she was in Nicaragua, I went to Wilson and Son's myself with Leslie and Bethany, Katie's sister, on our own hobbitish quest for The One Ring to Rule Them All.

Being able questers, we were successful:

Now all that remained was a time, place, and manner for the Question. The time: this past weekend, on Father's Day. The place: Frost Chapel at Berry College. The manner: a sonnet. Actually, Frost Chapel was a backup location: my preferred setting was at the Oak Hill Gardens by Berry. In fact, the sonnet itself assumed a recitation in a garden. However, thwarted at every turn by closing times and locked doors, I eventually just asked Katie to close her eyes and pretend she was in the garden. The tactic was successful.

What a Hobbit Wants

Hobbits are simple creatures, their dreams small and their desires earthy. In this, they are not altogether alien to mankind. Indeed, Tolkien seems to have envisioned hobbits as a sort of essential man--an Everyman--stripped of the artifice of civilization's prestige games and left in rustic innocence. In this race of Everymen, Samwise Gamgee is the Everymanliest of the lot. His wants accord with his stature, unswelled by pride and pretense. This was revealed in his moments of testing. When standing before the Elven queen Galadriel, each of the Nine Walkers is, within the silence of his own mind, "offered a choice between a shadow full of fear that lay ahead, and something that he greatly desired" (LotR 377). Sam is not offered wealth or thrones or powers yet more arcane and potent: instead, his desire is "a nice little hole... with a bit of garden of my own" (LotR 377). This temptation is but a test and a preparation for the ordeal to come, when Sam finds himself in possession of the Ring itself, with the power to bring all his desires into reality. Before his mind's eye, the Ring raises visions of conquest and empire: the power to create and destroy. Again, Samwise, whose name means "Half-wise", chooses rightly:

[H]e knew in the core of his heart that he was not large enough to bear such a burden... The one small garden of a free gardener was all his need and due, not a garden swollen to a realm; his own hands to use, not the hands of others to command. (LotR 935)

Even on its face, Sam's humility is admirable. There is, however, more here than meets the eye, I believe. We may view Samwise Gamgee as an image of humility, but in fact what Sam wants is nothing less than mankind's lordly first estate!

And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden... And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. (Genesis 2:7-8, 15)

Yes, when God made Adam, He gave him "dominion over ... every living thing" (Genesis 1:28), but the form that dominion took was gardening. But Sam's garden is not merely an occupation: it is an extension of his home, his "nice little hole". His garden is a living space--a world of his own ordered to suit his needs and comforts, which (incidentally) he later shares with a certain Rosie Cotton.

This then is the humbly modest and audaciously grand dream of Samwise Gamgee: mankind's primal task and first blessing, epitomized in a nice little hole with a bit of garden. And Katie and I are audacious enough to dream along with Sam and try to build a bit of garden of our own.